I pull into a familiar parking lot early in the morning to drop my dog Crash off at daycare. Yes, I understand that most people don’t drive their pups to a place where they can play with other dogs under the watchful eye of dogsitters, complete with video cameras, allowing the worried parent to see how their little fur child is doing throughout the day. This concept might just be an Orange County kind of thing. You know, like the dog food truck that serves frozen yogurt for dogs… one of Crash’s favorites.
I notice the lights are dim in the doggie daycare, but I reasoned that they’re just trying to save power… or maybe it was so early in the morning, they hadn’t officially got everything up and running at the front desk. I slowly make my way out of my car and walk over to the passenger seat where Crash was sitting on his booster seat… yes, my dog has a booster seat… maybe this is another Orange County kind of thing. It’s just high enough for him to put his head out the window, in addition to being lined with faux sheepskin to ensure the highest quality of softness. The seat has also safety functionality by harnessing Crash into his throne just in case I have to stop fast or if he wants to bark at another dog.
I unhook him from the harness and begin to back up providing adequate room to jump out of the car. I felt my heel hit the trunk of a tree. Still focused on Crash’s acrobatic moves as he exits the car, I think to myself, “That’s weird… the must have just planted that tree recently.” I’m still clueless even though the universe was slamming clues in my face. I take a walk up to the door, oblivious to the absence of any dog barking, let alone hearing a sound. I pull on the handle and the door doesn’t move. It’s locked. I, like an idiot, press my face against the window and see an empty room. What the hecko gecko?
It’s then that I come to the realization that I am at a completely different business complex. The doggie daycare center was further down the road. Now, ok, I will play devil’s advocate… the buildings were similar in color and size and I was listening to an audiobook about the art of tidying up your life… ironic seeing as I am feeling extremely unorganized at that moment. So could this be Parkinson’s disease or just a part of life as I age? I shudder.
With the many faces that Parkinson’s can have, it’s easy to blame various shortcomings in our lives to PD… but when do we stop and say, “Well that isn’t because of my neurological disease, I was just having an off day… anyone could have made that mistake.” But no, I believe the blame goes to Parkinson’s for this one.
Here’s my argument… I have never pre-Parkinson’s experienced confusion to this degree. Sure sometimes I might forget where I left my keys, or mixed up the time of a previously arranged appointment, however I have not had such a blatant determination that I was in the right location, in spite of all the contradicting evidence. It could be the fact that I have lost the ability to multitask and with my mind on all the events of the day, I got distracted. It could also be due to mild cognitive impairment due to the lack of dopamine in my body, or maybe a side effect of my medications. Regardless, it all comes down to Parkinson’s.
I am not writing this blog post to make excuses for all the challenges I face in my life by throwing all the blame on Parkinson’s, but I wanted to show how difficult it is to peel back the layers what is truly PD, or what would have naturally happened without any health conditions. Parkinson’s has so many faces and impacts so many aspects of your body and mind…it’s easy to place blame.
You help me make it through the changeling days with P D thank you! 🙈
L. O L
E C
Happy I can help even for a little bit! Thank you for your comment.
I came home Friday evening, parked my car (cute little red MGBGT), and put my keys away… Now I have always put them in one of two places, my pocket, or the center pocket in my purse…. On Sunday afternoon, Liz and I want to go to the mall, so we go out, get in my car, and I can’t for the life of me find my keys…… Now, it’s Monday I(we)’ve searched all weekend…. and still no keys….. I have never in my life had this type of experience…. So, until I find them? my car sits…. and I’ll just have to beg rides….. lol I know those keys are around here somewhere….. cause I haven’t gone anywhere… if only my parkie adled brain would just tell me where they are…. giggle
Oh no! It’s Situations like this you just got a laugh!
PD is responsible for much fuzzy-minded confusion in one’s life, true.
When my left-handed tremor gets bad and the pain in my left arm grows, my ability to concentrate on anything similarly judders to a halt.
However, a personal – non-Parkinson’s disease – tendency to not plan enough (either ‘in broad strokes’ or in detail) to ensure nothing goes wrong at the present or in the future is also responsible for much confusion and chaos.
PD is just too convenient a scapegoat for one’s own weaknesses and failures.
Certainly, one needs to slash aggressively through any PD fog – cut through any feelings of PD-related anxiety and doomy feelings of fragility or inadequacy – to make those plans… and then just kick the accelerator pedal and execute those plans. Bang! Go for it!
A broader understanding of what is really going on is also essential.
Meanwhile, may I just say: as one who posts from north Manchester, UK, you are the best advert for Orange County, Florida, I’ve yet encountered?
If I could visit, I would.
😀
I’m in Orange County, California. Can’t complain! Thanks for your comment.
Very well written. Have you misplaced your car yet? In the mall parking lot. Very scary and yes I blamed PD. D
I haven’t misplaced my brain yet!
Allison,
I always appreciate how you put your Perky Parkie spin on a daily activity of any sort.
Speaking for myself I have had similar moments before my PD. So I would say that it can be quite difficult to determine if it is our PD condition playing tricks on us or is it just because life has us moving at a pace that is often difficult for us to keep up to it, regardless of our PD condition.
As always, another great post from our Friendly Neighborhood Perky Parkie.
Keep them coming, can’t wait for the next post.
CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!
Cory
Thank you Cory. It’s nice to know that I am not alone in my struggles. Have a great weekend!
Wow. Can I relate to this. I fight everyday with what is PD and what is not. At my Rock Steady Boxing class today we are splitting up into 2 person groups. Everyone is counting 1 2-3-4. I am following this very carefully. It gets to me and I’m blank. Sometimes I am so quick thinking other times I’m completely lost. I keep telling myself this only happens in later stages. am I just imagining this or is it the PD?. Multitasking is a thing of the past. Everything has to be written down. Conversations start with one subject and in a minute I have wandered in a completely different direction. My confidence seems to be diminishing so I find myself staying quiet.
Most people still think it’s all about the tremor. They don’t want to listen or try to understand about cognitive issues or fatigue.
Thanks for this post as it is a nice reminder that I’m not the only one going through this. Crash looks great with the window down, blue skies and warm weather. We are in the start of snow for the next 3 days. 🤪 unless I’m wrong again.lol.
In Orange County, we are in the sunny 70 degree tempatures. So Crash gets his fill of warm days. Couldn’t handle snow for 3 days. Not sure how my PD would be in cold weather. Thank you for sharing your frustrations. You are not alone!
I can so relate. I’ve always been a sharp guy with impeccable sense of direction and could multitask like nobody’s business but this Parkinson’s thing has literally leaked out some otherwise normal brain cells. Just wish my brain would age alongside my body, keep pace if you will. Great post as usual and say Hi to Crash.
loved Crash’s picture, in the wind blown effect. Can I be Crash for one day? I wouldn’t need to blame a Parkie (or Barkie), for anything going wrong. I just wander carelessly through life, seeking my next pleasure point..be it a doggie yogurt, play date with other doggies, or the occasional snicker at watching my fearless leader taking on the world.
Wouldn’t that be amazing! We have much to learn from Crash!
So true! I have seen some people with Parkinson’s got very angry, when I have pointed out, that difficulties in social life are not always Parkinson’s sake, there are other reasons too: clothing and habitus in certain occasion, behavior and so on. What can we say to a person, who looks like mad, thinks like mad, speaks like mad, writes like mad and acts like mad – and is in his own mind a genius with Parkinson’s?
Great point! Thanks for your comment.