It started this morning. I wasn’t depressed per se, just a case of the “blahs”. I think it’s the weather here in California. May and June are months known for grey and gloomy clouds. Why do you ask? This is due to low-altitude stratus clouds formed over the ocean, then transported over the coastal regions by the wind, which produces drizzle and patches of rain… it’s science.
I was getting ready to head into work for the day and in the middle of my cockcrow routine, I could already feel the presence of my “meh” mood. The water in my shower was raging a war between cold and hot. My hair was not playing nice and I had just come to the realization that I had given birth to a colossal pimple on my face. I debate trying to pop it, but it always turns out the same… like I played the game operation and lost.
I attempt to get dressed and I say that because today nothing in my closet fits, feels comfortable, or even looks somewhat attractive. I feel like slapping on a muumuu and calling it a day. I try to put on a casual dress that zips on the side… but it’s a smidge too small. I am bouncing up and down, contorting my body, sucking in, and twisting until I zip my skin up in the zipper. Yeow!
I’m sweating like a mule as I attempt to free my flesh from the zipper… back fat, party of one… your table is ready. My face hot and flush, I begin an angry laugh as I mumble to myself, “of course this won’t be easy.” Now I am trying to get the damn dress off, but I am shaking with infuriation and my dexterity is weak. Trying to peal this dress off my already dewy skin is like trying to put a pair of spandex pants on right after you’ve had a dip in the pool. I choose a more comfortable option of jeans, blouse, and canvas shoes. I try to put some earrings in… you know, to dress it up a bit, but I know that my fine motor skills have proven to be on the decline. This doesn’t stop my determination. I fidget with the back of the earing but almost get in an obsessive mode and I will not give into my Parkinson’s. I will wear those earrings, even if it takes me all day to put them on.
I take my dog Crash for his a.m. potty and because it was drizzling, he doesn’t want to go out. We walk around for felt like an hour as he gives me a look like I had created this tortuous environment just for my pleasure. I can feel my blood pressure rising. I say to him, “If you would just poo, we could both be inside right now”… honestly believing that he understood every word I spoke. Crash produces a tootsie roll turd… not the regular size… a miniature one and then runs for the door. I will probably come home to a steaming pile because my prima donna fur child doesn’t like the getting wet.
When we truck inside and I take off his leash Crash goes loco. I don’t know what it is about dogs when they get wet, it’s like an earthbound spirit takes over and they go rabid for a bit. I finish getting my belongings together for work and I feel frumpy… re-thinking my choice of outfit for the day, but then I remember the trauma of my zipper incident and choose to keep my current look. Not because I had accepted the frumpiness but because at that point I had just given up.
I pull into the parking lot of my office and feel the annoyance of my no-show sock working its way off my heal and then rolling into a ball of irritation in my shoe. With no more patience left in me, I yank off my shoe and rip the wannabe sock off my foot. I lift my bags and wonder why I carry so much stuff around. Do I really need to tote everything I own around with me?
I’m winded taking the stairs as I haul my life up to my office. To make matters worse, an elderly man passes me on the stairs as I continue wheezing. Now, nothing else can go wrong. I’m at my office. I did it! Until I remembered I have group photos with my co-workers today. So, there I am standing in a group photo, sweating, flush, with a massive pimple on my face, wearing a frumpy outfit, with my back fat still bleeding, and wondering how big the pile of crap is waiting for me at home. Just one of those days.
Actually I have had those days and I don’t have a disease that I know of as of now . Remember. Breathe and don’t expect so much of yourself☹️ Know that you are loved and I think of you every day. I exercise and sit on the porch with darling Maxi play my music and meditate. Your friend in Maine is living the life I love so I read her posts . So happy your Dad reccommeded her to me.
Peg, so happy you like Trina’s posts. She looks like she came out of an LL Bean catalogue.
Your comment about being flushed and sweaty after dressing attempts failed, leads me to contemplate a new word to the PDictionary. Should it be “garmentgloss” or “sweatsuit” or maybe even “Heat-Up” like Dress Up, only in a Hot way. You have such funny stories to tell..makes me smile
Love it! Got to add that to my Parkinson’s Urban dictionary. Thank you for the comment, Annie!
I would like to say I can relate but being of the opposite sexual persuasion, I hope that is still proper, we have somewhat similar but yet different situations.
Get up in the morning go to the bathroom to get dressed, I do that so I don’t wake my wife, try not to get certain parts caught in the zipper as I do up my jeans, luckily I can do up the big button at the top today. Either I push together the snaps on my shirt or pull one over my head. Go to the kitchen and pour myself a 3/4 cup of coffee on a good day, then go sit down to watch the news. As I go to take a sip of coffee I proceed to pour it down my face and of course on my shirt. I assess what I am going to do today and whether or not I need to change, nope. Then there is brushing the teeth and trying to keep the toothbrush in my mouth, I love brushing my upper lip and my nose. Shaving is another experience and I refuse to do it more than twice a week unless absolutely necessary.
Well now to continue with my day. Thanks for the laughs, I hope I could provide you with some as well.
Have a great day
LOL! You made me smile. Stay away from shaving… sounds dangerous! Thank you, Tim!
Glad to know that I’m not the only one who has “one of those days.” When I do, I just say “life” followed by a long sigh. However, as Annie likes to remind us “the sun will come out tomorrow….” and we know little red-headed orphans don’t lie….right?
Take care!
John
Ha! Of course red-headed orphans dont lie… it’s science.
I love the summation in the second to last sentence. June gloom. You’re making me homesick.
We miss you too PM!
Your description of your day hits so many points that we all feel you really have a way with words
Thank you Bonnie!
Hi Allison. I have these types of days sometimes – I think a lot of us parkies do. It doesn’t matter how you think you look to other people or how you may feel inside, jyou are a very beautiful woman.
I have days where my face freezes up and it looks like I just spent the last 2 hours straining and trying to go #2 in the bathroom (since I forgot to use a stool softener). Someone at work before said I looked like I saw a ghost.
I am sure you understand the type of dyskinesia/freeze face I am trying to describe.
Thank you for sharing this story and I hope you didn’t come home to an unexpected present from Crash
Yes, I do know that frozen face… so not cool! Thank you, Chris!
Although I do not have PD (but avidly support those who do), from reading this post, I think that I might. I hope you will forgive me for sharing in your frustration.
Your description sounds like an almost typical day for me.
I hear people talk about these things call routines. They explain it to me as something that you do day in/day out without thought or effort; I have NO idea what they are talking about.
There is seldom a day that goes by that I do not temporarily lose my phone or my car keys or even my money clip or glasses. (Thankfully that so far, I have not left my glasses on while looking for them). For some reason, although I diligently try, I can never seem to put something back in the same place that I just took it from – I am easily distracted.
When it comes to discussing those “routines” with people, it usually comes up with something like: ” …. but David there is NOTHING routine about you at all. I kind of take pride in that.
Bottom line, although at times, I would like to fit in with the rest, I have learned to enjoy being the black sock in the white sock drawer, or being the orange in the apple basket.
I have realized that I am different and that I enjoy being different.
Again, I do not have PD but have some other cognitive difficulties that I have had to learn to overcome, that also have made me whom I am today. Again, I kind of enjoy being different.
Maybe my PD friends can learn something from me and realize that their trials and tribulations are what has made them who and what they are today. Maybe that will even, at the toughest of times, help them deal with their issues a little differently knowing that everyone is different in their own way.
As you say, we all cope differently…PD or not. It’s how we get through the challenges that make us who we are. Thank you for your comment, David.
Can’t wear workout clothes all week? Take heart in your beautiful patio and the hummers singing, welcome home …