My mom was on her daughter duty for the second time… bless her heart. It was difficult not to feel like a burden. My last post, “Just when I was thinking things were looking up” detailed how I was at home with my health care team overseeing my physical needs and trying to keep me away from the hospital. I was feeling like I had gotten over the worst part. On my first trip out of the house, my mom and I went to get bloodwork done and eat at my favorite restaurant but I couldn’t take even a tiny bite or sip of water because my stomach was distended so much that it was difficult to take a deep breath. Then came nausea and vomiting. I knew that familiar sensation… it was another bowel obstruction. Time to make a trip to the hospital… and let me tell you, it’s not a good sign when you start to recognize the medical staff from prior visits.
Back to the hospital
I was wheeled to the emergency room triage where they assess your current state and then place you into a waiting area with the other afflicted. I couldn’t help but notice the massive large screen television that was hovering over the rows of people, which allowed everyone a vantage point to what was playing. And who would’ve guessed the channel of choice was?… “The Food Network”. I could just feel the chunks rising.
I gripped the plastic vomit bag that was given to me in triage. I closed my eyes and took myself to my happy place… rainbows, puppies, riding on the back of a polar bear while eating FroYo and no lines at the DMV. I took deep breaths and was able to overcome the culinary crusade playing out in front of me.
Think happy thoughts
But then the smell of fast food wafted through the air and like a truffle pig, I frantically looked for the source. A mother and daughter walked into the waiting area both toting a bag of food and soda. I could tell my instincts were correct as oil from the food saturates the paper bag. They grabbed handfuls of salty, greasy, crispy French fries and shoved that wad of disgusting, yet strangely appealing in their faces.
I was feeling beyond nauseous. They took a seat under the massive television, creating almost like a stage of theatrical performances that would leave the audience forced to watch. The “Food Channel” was covering 1,000 ways to celebrate Oktoberfest… ok, maybe 1000 was a small exaggeration, but it felt like it would never end. Then the mother and daughter took the stage and began detailing how they like to enjoy their Bratwurst or Schnitzel… with mashed potatoes, fries, sauerkraut, mustard, or even crumbled potato chips…the options were endless.
You know that moment right before you puke, your mouth begins to water and you begin to sweat as you’ve just finished a triathlon? Your face is pale and your hands are clammy? I was at that point telling myself, “You aren’t going to sick. Pull it together… you don’t even like schnitzel.” I am proud to say that I made it through the waiting area to my hospital bed, without puking.
I was admitted back into the hospital and this time, it was getting to be a strain on my parents, and my dog because I was totally reliant on others to care for me. Thankfully I have a strong Wolfpack that helped along the way… you know who you are. But the tough decision had to be made. I had to look out for my dog Crash and although I have trained him to be my personal nurse, bodyguard, caregiver, chef, and Reiki Master… he was just too unpredictable having strangers coming in and out of the house. Not to mention, I didn’t even have the strength to walk him to take him out to do his business… I don’t think I need to elaborate any further on what his “business” is.
So the next day, my mom drove Crash back to my family’s home in Arizona. I lost everyone in one day. I was alone at a hospital…in a different county… miles away from everything that was normal to me. This was my lowest time. I just wanted to shut down everyone. I was tired of being poked with needles. Tired of the nurses missing my Sinemet medication and then wondering why I was so cranky. Exhausted from rounds of Doctors, Residents, and Med Students standing over my bed looking at me like I was just another patient they had to deal with.
I was up to 7 surgeries with general anesthesia in 7 months. I felt as if I have lost a little part of myself during every medical procedure. Parts of me break off and fade away. I fear I may never get them back again. Something had to give… but what? Why was I having such a difficult time recovering? The answer was a very large snowball.
I have been waiting with baited breath for your post Allison and praying that all was going well. I am so sorry to hear that it is not and pray that it will change for the better very soon. It has to be so difficult to be in a different place without your normal Dr’s that know you and how to treat you with care and understanding what you are going through. How do we get them to understand that we need our meds on time every time!?? I sure hope that Crash can be comfortable with your parents or whoever is looking after him although I know that he is missing you terribly. Sending you many wishes and thoughts and prayers for some extra strength and healing. Please keep on keeping on and maybe try to train some of the staff about Parkinson’s and what it means to get your meds on time.
Tim, I agree educating medical professionals is a huge issue that needs to be addressed… and soon!
You are such a “wonder woman” with a straight forward sense of humor! I’m sure Crash was so sad to leave you for now, just as your heart is missing him. Know that I, along with so many others, are sending you the loving prayers of wellness. I include all those of your support team as well.
.
Thank you Dianna!
Allison you make me laugh and cry with every post! There really is no option but to keep the humor flowing. You truly are an inspiration to others! You are very loved and very much appreciated. Keep being you and do not hesitate to reach out if you need me and P.M. for anything. We are text, call, road trip or flight away!
Hugs!
Thank you Jenny! Miss you guys!
My heart goes out to you! My biggest goal in life is not to ever return to the hospital, so I empathize with yet another set back. Hang in there baby!
Cathy, staying out of the hospital is what I’m asking Santa for this year!
My dad (a former hospital administrator who just recently passed away, but NOT in a hospital) always said that hospitals are no place for sick people. He said it as a joke, but I think he really meant it. It’s awful you have had to spend so much time there, and amazing that you can find the strength and attitude to write the posts you have. Then again, we’d expect no less from a ninja. We think of you often, and are praying for things to improve.
Thank you, Jan and Ken!
Well,Allison. We sent a reply earlier. I don’t understand why it’s not showing up.
At any rate, we are not happy about your latest experience. We’re sorry you had to give Crash to your parents for the time being, but Crash must keep up with his business.
We hope you know we think about you all the time so we’re happy to get an update. Rich also has been in and out of the hospital, but we’re pretty sure he’s on the mend now.
Much love to you,
Rich and Claudia
Claudia and Rich, I’m happy to hear that Rich is out of the hospital and hopefully recovering quickly.
Allison,
I’ve been thinking of you a lot and keep praying that you get better soon. I have been following your blog for a few years and find you to be an inspiration. Stay strong Allison and know that your wolfpack is thinking of you.
Thank you John!
I would send you my unicorn but apparently she has ran off to a warmer climate. She isn’t much help but she is cute. Don’t stop being you and know that you are cared for. Sending the vibes of healing.
Sandee, such a bummer that your unicorn 🦄 isn’t available right now, but I appreciate the vibes your sending my way! Thank you!
Allison, Thank you for your sense of humor. I really relate to your hospital trip.Love from Plano Texas
Michelle, happy to hear you enjoyed my blog!
Allison, it’s hard to read your stories, but it must be harder to write them – and hardest to live them.
Timo, yes it can be difficult, but if my story can help someone, then it’s all worth it!
Thanks for keeping us up to date. Your humor in the face of incredible adversity is very inspiring . I can relate to the with holding of sinamet when your in the ER they think your just “Drug seeking”.
Have you thought about setting up a video surveillance or nanny cam sort of thing so you can watch Crash? Just have it pointed at the area around where he sleeps or maybe his favorite part of the yard.
Stephen, that’s a great idea! I will check it out!
Stay strong and perky. You’re one of the good ones man.
Thank you Dan!
Oh, Allison….I’m so sorry for all you’re going through! I know you’re strong and will get through this one too…but sometimes it’s OK to let those tears sneak out of your eyes and roll down your cheeks. I just wish the best for you…and something happy to make you smile.
Linda, there have been many days that I’ve had a allowed myself a break down moment. Sometimes you just need a good cry!
Again?? We want to feel better and we can see those around us who are doing worse and we give thanks on how much better we a than them. Get well soon! I know your doing your time now so you enjoy the holidays!! HO-HO-HO. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Thomas, I am hoping for a much better new year! 2018 was kind of a bust! Thanks for your comment! Hope you’re well.
I pray for you every day girl….You have been thro so much don’t let this get you down you are an inspiration
Connie, thank you for reading my blog! And thanks for your kind words. Hope you’re well!
You’re amazing Alison. Keep your sense of humour alive. Your body is a wrapping for your glittering soul. Breathe in Faith – Breathe out fear..
Thank you Roger!
Stay Strong, Allison! So glad you posted so we know what is up with you. Having our own challenges here with my sweetie..
Toni, thank you for your comment.
So sorry to hear you have been having such a rough time. Can relate. How annoying that the nurses did not medicate you properly. I had that issue, last time I was in hospital. After making complaints about it, the staff decided that it was ultimately my responsibility to keep insisting that my medication was administered on time. But how do you do that, when you literally can’t move from the neck down. I think Parkinson’s is like a circus…unless you keep smiling..you end up falling off the tightrope. I know that makes no sense, but it is very frustrating to have a disease that so few people appear to understand…Just remember that your fellow parkies are standing with you and praying.
Vera, the hospital isn’t a good place for a Parkie to be for any extended time. Yuck!
Allison, you don’t know me though I’ve been reading your blog for some months (my husband has Parkinson’s disease though his is very mild compared to yours). I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are having to go through all this and we both wish you a good recovery from this latest setback, and a speedy reunion with Crash. You are amazing. 😘
Helen, thank you for your well wishes!
Wishing you healing and positive thoughts as you recover !!! You have amazing energy and will power to continue bouncing back. I look forward to hearing that Crash is back at your side wagging his tail.!!
Elaine, thank you for your comment!
Wow, you’ve had a terrible time of it.. So sorry. About all these things ganging up on you. Hang in. Casey
Thank you Casey!
I was at the library today and looked up the word: Perseverance
Guess What? Your picture was there with an arrow pointing to it.
In other words, you are the definition of Perseverance.
Once again, I cannot believe how strong you are.
Take care and try to enjoy the upcoming holidays!
My best to you and your family.
David, I hope it’s a good picture! Ha!
Allison,
There are many fellow Parkie’s thinking of you and praying for a ray of hope to come your way soon. Hang in there!
Thank you Lois!
Oh Allison, we are so sad to hear that your recovery has been so very challenging! I pray for you often and will continue to do so. God is asking a lot of you right now in your life!!
Having Crash return to familiar family is the right thing to do for the pooch for the time being, but on so hard for you right now!
We think of you often and make it to the Y-Gym as frequently as we are in town to do so. Keep your spirits up little girlie. we love you.
Linda and Bill
Linda and Bill, it is so nice to hear from you! Miss you guys! Hope to see you soon.
Allison, we have been thinking of you and hope this whole thing gets better VERY SOON! I was wondering who was taking care of Crash. GOOD LUCK on getting this resolved!
Thank you, Susan!