My mom and dad have decided to purchase a new house. This is a very exciting time for them. They get to pick out the colors of the wall, the stucco on the house and what plot of land they want to build on. Anyone would have trouble refraining from jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas morning. But I can see a deeper meaning. Parkinson’s doesn’t only affect the person diagnosed. It has a more sinister plan.
The Vine
Like a vine growing in a garden, Parkinson’s will slowly creep into the tiny crevices of your life, extending its reach to those around you. In many
As the vine grew within me, I noticed small modifications my family made for me and I noticed friends treated me differently. But this wasn’t the only thing that shifted, my self-image of who I had become, altered how I interacted with those close to me.
My medical setback, (which I detailed in “Where do I begin”) has slapped my family in the face. It has made us aware that things can drastically transform with a blink of the eye. I went from a girl who lived independently, exercised 5 times a week, who had Parkinson’s disease but could manage to thrive, to a girl who used a walker to move, required assistance to bathe and was physically and cognitively disabled. My parents had to drop everything in their lives to come and care for their favorite child. Even though they rotated shifts traveling from Arizona to me in California, I could see that my health challenges were draining them.
The Burden
My Parkinson’s has made me feel like a burden, it’s difficult not to think that way, even though I know it’s not true. My family has had to sacrifice so much because of my health. The vine has spread out to my parents, putting into motion purchasing a new home that will include a bedroom with a bathroom that will have modifications to accommodate my needs. So when my health declines to the point that I can’t live independently, I already have a place I can call home with my family.
Parkinson’s doesn’t only impact the person who is diagnosed with it. It will grow to include family, friends and even our beloved pets. What’s necessary is keep your Wolfpack strong, remind yourself that you’re not a burden, find ways to cope with everyday challenges and most importantly, learn to love your vine because it might just bring your family closer.
You can do this and actually we can do this. I have PD too since I’m 10 and i have learn that we are teaching and loving but mostly enjoying life in a beautiful way .
Mariana, well said! Bravo!
Allison, your story brought me to tears. Your an amazing person and your parents are just as awesome. (Apple doesnt fall far from the tree) so inspiring. Dont know how your do it. I quietly read your stories (book too) and try to find strength but that feeling of being a burdon never goes away for me. I dont have PD but a diff debilitating disease that wont let up. Thank you for being so open about your life and sharing with the world. Illness is a vulnerability im still trying to hide. Thought i dont have PD, ive followed you for several years, as you inspired and amazed me back when i gave you massages at Total Woman. Your courage has left a huge impression on me. Thank you and i always wish you the best in whatever you do!
Hi Kristine, thank you so much for your kind words! It was a nice surprise!
Hello Alison; I am so glad to hear that you are doing better. It’s amazing what parents will do for their children isn’t it. I have done many things for my children over the years and would do it all over again. That is a wonderful family photo, albeit short two, but still wonderful. Wishing you all the best on the continued journey to the pre-surgery you.
Thank you, Tim!
Hi Mom and Dad,
I first met Allison through you and have always admired you for all that you do and have done. Congrats on the new house and I hope that all is well with you. I enjoyed the photo of the two of you with Allison.
I work with a number of families and do not remember all of them. HOWEVER, there are families that I do and have served that are memorable and your family is one of those special families.
This is a special thanks to you on behalf of all of the Parkies out there. You brought the world a very special person and for that we say thank you.
Take care!
Perky, Thanks for another great post. Your description of PD as a vine is an apt one. I grew up in the South where an invasive vine, kudzu, thrives. Kudzu covers everything in its path, grows quickly and can be hard, if not impossible, to control. It’s often said that kudzu is the vine that ATE the South. To me, PD is kudzu and I am the gardener continually trying to keep the evil vine at bay using whatever means necessary – drugs, exercise, positive attitude, etc. Hope you are feeling better and know your wolfpack is always with you!
John, it sounds like you’ve found a good weed killer!
Hi you are doing so well xxxx
Thank you Heather!
Hi little Al,
Sending all of you big hugs!
Lots of love,
Big Al
Awwww, thank you Alison!
Allison, I know you don’t feel this way, but your parents decided to have children, and they had you. They are responsible for you when you can’t be for yourself. Harsh eh? I will let others cop the “because they love you” approach. Knowing your mom and dad, I know they will not feel they are caring for you out of contract, and you would never exhibit an “attitude.” I just want to make sure all the bases are covered way down here at the bottom of this list. Great blog post by the way. Can you see me way down here?
I see you Pete!
Allison – I know that I can’t speak for your parents but I would guess that it is accurate to say that they have never considered you a burden, and any inconvenience you may have caused them is far outweighed a million times over by how proud of you they must be for all of the lives you have enriched with all you do.
Dave, thank you! Miss seeing my Parkies, but I hear your group is growing. Keep up the good work.
The moral of the story, don’t piss off your Wolfpack. Just kidding.
Dale, you’re right! Ha!
Calling Parkinson’s a vine is a great description and is very accurate. PD in my life is more like a Wisteria vine that continually chokes and constricts me and has basically taken my strength away and tripped me so I cannot escape its grip. Sometimes the pain and the increasing dependency on others to take care of me just will not ease up.
On a more positive note, it is so great to see your health improvements and your humor back in full swing. I am so glad that God answers prayers.
Chris, thank you! I’m doing better each and every day!
Allison–This is a wonderful story about your wonderful family. We all have friends who are helping us. But this is special.
Jim, thank you for your kind words.
How much I am feeling this way, today, is remarkable. You could have taken the words out of my mouth. When I read this, I cried for the independent, sassy woman I once was.
My Dad is celebrating his 90th birthday this March. Family is arriving from everywhere. My favorite Brother-in-law on the planet is getting married in May. Will Parkinson’s disease allow me to attend these wonderful events? Time will tell. Hopefully, everything can be made live, so I may attend from home.
Normally I’m more optimistic. But today, Im dealing with pneumonia. My mood is bleak, and my ability to breathe is compromised.
I was only married 4 months, when the Parkinson’s diagnosis was delivered. I have a wonderful, supportive Husband. 7 years… And stronger than ever…together. The tears have stopped, for now. I’ll keep reminding myself that I am blessed, no matter how rough the road conditions get.
Deb, you will feel stronger once you get better. Your husband sounds amazing.
I am now single beginning retirement with this disorder. It’s the hand I was dealt to me, forward I go alone. Oh well.
Chris, I hear you! It’s a lot to take in. I feel like it’s a lot to ask of someone to get into a relationship, but we all still have love to give. Hang in there!
Chris, I had to retire because of this hand we have been dealt but I found a wonderful woman that cares for me and married me despite that. Keep going forward Chris you never know what life has in store for you!