It’s a really weird time in the world today. With COVID-19, many of us are on “shelter at home” orders. People are encouraged not to leave their homes unless it’s for essential things like groceries or the pharmacy. If we do go out, we need to wear a facial mask and practice social distancing. I haven’t even heard of that phrase, until March this year. Now, I think of it every day.
After spending the last month seeing people donning facial masks and interacting with them, I’ve realized that this must be how it is for our lovely caregivers, friends, and families. Many Parkies have “masked facies” (also known as hypomimia) which limits facial expressions. These nonverbal cues are important when showing interests and emotions. Whether it’s smiling at a handsome man…unaware of the chocolate in your teeth… or trying to reenact your favorite scene from the movie Titanic… “I will never let go, Jack. I will never let go.” Without the visual cues to determine the mood of the room, some people can appear to be bored, irritated, uninterested, or unempathetic.
When couples come to me for Psychotherapy, it’s not uncommon to hear the caregiver saying things such as,
“He just doesn’t seem care about me anymore.”
“When we go to dinner with friends, he just sits there and doesn’t engage. It’s like he is mad that he’s even there.”
“She just isn’t the same smiling, happy woman I married.”
Many of the interpretations of Parkie’s nonverbal cues can be incorrect. Furthering the confusion is the lack of variance of tone in their voice. Just like my college professor who lectured in a very monotone voice, you could barely stay awake through a 2-hour class. He just seemed bored teaching but maybe he had Parkinson’s… hmmm.
I know that communicating with people wearing masks will not just go away. It will be the new normal, but it’s given us a chance to see what it’s like for those who care for us. It’s almost like we’ve leveled the playing field. Parkies have perfected the art of facial masking. Now, if we can just create hair masking… with my stylist in quarantine I’m a hot mess.
These are definitely strange times.. I’m sure this is the only time when anyone can walk into a bank with a mask on and no one freaks out or calls the police…🥴😬
Just do not write ANY words on the outside of the mask you wear in a bank. Not even punctuation. Not funny to them. For instance “I’m a penguin” could be interpreted by a scared banker as “I have a gun” or “My pen is a gun”.
Hi all,
Thanks for the topic of masks.It’s unnerving to see my reflection on computer screens in Zoom calls. “I do look a little masky,” I think to myself. I search for humor about it. I can’t quite hit a funny bone. Then I think of Halloween. Will winning costumes be those without masks? Truth is I don’t like looking masky without my consent. Aren’t WE the ones who are supposed to put the mask on and take it off? Why is it again that parkies look masky?
Weird time, weird post. Love to all.❤️
Sage,
Parkies get a masked-face look due to the lack of control of your head and facial muscles. This in part is due to the loss of Dopamine in the body. Thank you again Parkinson’s.
A mask has got to be also impacting your enjoyment of fro-yo (frozen yogurt.) Maybe a trap-door feature?
Dad, I think you’re on to something. 🤔
Allison, as always you take an otherwise drab subject and make it shine for all of us. Your writing style is fantastic and exudes an upbeat rhythm which elevates the reader to new heights. We all need that, especially now.
Having travelled and worked in many foreign countries, I try to stay abreast of happenings in Europe, Asia, Africa and Central and South America. I see that COVID-19 has ushered in a horrific new era of political and economic turmoil in some Third World Countries that were never imagined. Some of my foreign friends have sent me photographs of their masking (home made), and many cannot yet even obtain masks. Weighing their plights, especially the food insecurity, lack of medical care and hunger, makes me realize how fortunate we are to live in this country.
A footnote: Our RSB program continues unabated virtually (Zoom) and offers our group three great work outs a week and two socials, e.g. Jeopardy, Bingo; Truth or Lie. Really keeps our close knit group together. Our peeps are more important than ever. Thank you Allison for your great leadership and contributions to our Community, especially now.
Wayne,
Sometimes we forget that people in other areas of the world are suffering too. I feel blessed to still have my job and health… I know that there are many who are less fortunate.
That is great that your RSB has found a way to stay connected. Having a strong wolfpack is a must!
The inability to anticpate the degree of pleasure, happiness, excitement, or even affecton (etc) from one’s next action is all about how much dopamine one can muster up. Dopamine provides the decion making claiirity at the point of decison. A man could as easily stop paying attentionn to his wife as easily as he could stop playing golf or drinking beerm or any other ppreviously enjoyed fun. It;s not him, its the damn dopamine (or lack of it)
Pete,
It’s not fun living with Parkinson’s. Just one more thing to worry about!
Good morning Allison! I have also noticed the communication issues while wearing masks. My audiology background kicked in and I came up with some things that might help. I am putting this in the next PD Buzz newsletter. Here is a link to it. https://pdbuzz.com/communication/.
It is truly a different world out there now!
Miss seeing you at the gym!!
Lauren
Lauren,
Thanks for sharing the link. I hope we see the day soon when we can all be back at the gym. Miss you!
With your mask on you’re a walking slot machine! Anybody grab your arm and pull it? I’m surprised everyone recognizes me with my mask on. Then I looked in the mirror and saw that my normally bushy eyebrows were taking over my forehead. Dead give away. Good to hear from again!
Bob,
Haha! love the eyebrows… that’s a dead giveaway!
I too had never heard of social distancing until this pandemic. I have also never worn a mask when around others. So much has changed over the past few months, hasn’t it? Now I wouldn’t think of leaving the house without it.
My rock steady boxing class has been restarted but with major changes most notably the requirement that everyone wear a mask at the gym. I haven’t gone back yet but plan to in the next month. I hope I can get used to wearing a mask while exercising! At least I have a cool design on my mask :).
John,
That’s so cool that you get to go back to your Rock Steady classes. I absolutely miss mine. I couldn’t imagine wearing a mask while working out. It’s already difficult to breathe when I’m just strolling in the grocery store. I have an array of masks with different patterns and colors… who said we can’t look good wearing them!
There was room on that door for both of them! Is that your mask? I sewed baseball and football ones for Joshua and I. I mean I had little old ladies sew them. I was winning an arm wrestling contest and drinking whatever is manly. I like the whole mask comparison. Golf clap Smitty.
Allison, wonderful as always, my wife says she smiles at handsome men too. I always greatly appreciate your heartfelt thoughts and your honesty about this disease, I am now in my nineteenth year with PD and most people don’t have a single clue about the “deadpan” face, I think they figure I’m either sad or mad. The masks are a pain but it seems very worth it to me.
I know that like the rest of us with PD that you don’t always feel that great and that writing these articles takes a lot of energy and effort and you always do great work.
Thank you so much and have a great day even with your mask.
Gary,
Thank you for your kind words… 19 years. Any tips for crossing over the 20-year mark?