It’s a warm calm night with only the light of a full moon illuminating the path in front of me. Don’t know how I got here. I can’t remember anything before arriving in these waist-deep blades of grass. An unearthly screech off in the distance. I immediately lower my body for protection from being seen as I crouch in the foliage. Feeling my heart begin to beat faster as the fear of my unseen enemy surges.
I see the outline of an abandoned house. The wood shingles from the roof lay on the ground combined with pieces of glass from the windows which have been shattered. It was a long time ago when the house was home to a family. Full of love and warmth. But now, nature has reclaimed the wooden structure with the overgrowth of vines and moss that covered the walls.
I am being hunted. By what I don’t know. It wasn’t human, but it wasn’t dead. I only know of them as the “infected.” The world has begun to be overrun with their type and if I don’t make it to that house, I could be one of them. I crawl on my belly slowly making my way towards my refuge. A shrill breaks the silence of the night. It is getting closer.
I finally reach the abandoned house and leap with ease through the broken window on the side of the home. My feet land on glass shards that dirtied the ground beneath me. As my eyes begin to adjust to the darkness I look around for some sort of weapon. I know that the battle with the infected is upon me. In the corner of the room lies a skeleton. Its boney fingers gripping a crossbow across its body.
The sound of twigs breaking. Grab the bow and arrow sling… only 2 arrows… got to make them count. I swing around to line up the shot when the gurgling and groaning gets louder. Hearing the shuffle of their step, I see the shadow of their silhouettes. This is the moment. I am fearless. Then one last screech and I open my eyes.
Oh, for the love of… I need to stop playing my PlayStation zombie games before I go to bed. Truthfully, I kind of like living in a world where my Parkinson’s disease isn’t limiting me… without the zombies of course. But why when I’m dreaming, I never have Parkinson’s.
One day my cousin and I were catching up over a cup of coffee and I asked her, “When did you know that you were fluent in another language?” She responded, “When I started dreaming in Spanish.” That answer floored me because I think I am fluent in Parkinson’s language, so why am I not dreaming in PD speech? It’s actually a bit of a reprieve.
In My Parkinson’s Dreams
In my dreams, I go on these adventures without the challenges of a neurological disorder. I can fly, jump in the waves of the ocean, roll around town with a llama, or even show up to work naked. It got me thinking if Parkinson’s is such a part of my daily life… is it just physical and my true being (some people might call my spirit) would be healthy and free from disease? Whoa! Mind Blown.
Do any of you, my Parkie friends, have dreams that you’re free from the chains of Parkinson’s? Or maybe the opposite, do you have Parkinson’s in your dreams?
I never really stopped to think about this before, but in my dreams I don’t seem to have Parkinson’s. Of course, one of the biggest symptoms of PD that I have is a sleep disorder – or should I say, a lack of sleep disorder. Some days I only get one or two hours of sleep.
Joe,
Not getting more than two hours of sleep can really impact your dreams or lack there of. Hope you get some good sleep tonight!
yep, the same for me. i never dream w/ pd, so i guess that in our dreams, despite how much we might be thinking about pd, we can never be limited by this deficiency.
I, too, experience vivid, detailed dreams in full technicolor, widescreen. It wasn’t until you mentioned it that I started to think about whether I have PD in my dreams – I’ll have to pay closer attention from now on. I used to get the full-on screaming nightmares, complete with furry Star Trek monsters crashing through my attic. I started taking melatonin and the nightmares have mostly stopped. Instead of waking myself up with screams of terror, I wake myself up because I’m laughing so hard (but then I can never remember exactly what I was dreaming about that was so funny!). Thanks for your blogs, Allison – they are thoughtful and clever and bring a different perspective!
Barbara,
I’m happy to hear that you are enjoying my blog. Thanks for sharing your dreams!
Similar to many here, I often have vivid dreams. However the details usually disappear by the time I’m awake enough to begin my daily medication routine (priority one to avoid painful dystonia in my feet)
As always, you’ve given me food for thought!
Gotta love the morning dystonia feet!!!
I dream every night. I actually enjoy my dreams. The content of my dreams are extremely random. My dreams are filled with people I know, but they never look like the real people I know. I wake up feeling happy and wanting my “story” to continue. Alas, my wish is unfulfilled. It’s okay, though. At least I had a great adventure. Bare;y ever remember any of my dreams.
When I dream I don’t think PD is even a thought.
Keep up your amazing blog, Allison!
Jan
Jan, thank you and thanks for sharing.
I am one of the really lucky Parkies…i only wish I had dreams,,,what I have are knockdown full throttle nightmares. In one, a giant bird of prey has snatched me up in it’s gallons and it was swooping down fry the sky with a victorious scream. When we got close to ground level I could see a bright green shimmering glow reaching up to me from the ground. It was sort of beautiful, until I realized that what I was seeing was a field of jagged, raw emeralds sponging from the earth at odd angels. The bird began to drag me across this field of killer stones. I could feel the flesh being torn from my frame. The pain was unimaginable and I screamed out in terror.
On another occasion, I ,in my nightmare, was fully awake, but I was lost. I had no idea of where I was or what I should do. It was so dark, there was no sound other than my own breathing, I realized that I was so lost that no one could ever possibly find me. The terror built in my head. Lost! So lost! And alone. It was just me sitting in the dark not knowing up or down. Suddenly, I realized that I was actually moving. In the darkness, there was no reference marks to show I was moving, but I was being pulled down, deeper and deeper. My screams of terror went unheard. I was being pulled down and somehow I knew I was being pulled even deeper and I could feel the slimy walls of the pipe I was being pulled through always heading down further and further. That night I woke up crying and I can still feel the isolation and the complete loneliness
John,
My God! That sounds awful. I hope you at least have some peaceful dreams occasionally. Thanks for sharing.
I have vived dreams, but in those dreams, whether flying, running or just standing , no matter the naraitive, I don’t have PD, that I can tell. I don;t have dreams where I am constrained even, a metaphor for PD. At least once a week i have “the dream:” which is the same story over and over, but always in a different context.
But I diid have an unusual dream a couple of days ago, but still no PD. I dreamed I pickup up a hitchhiker, a guy a little younger than me, well dressed and polite. About 15 seconds, down the road, he said “hey, mister, aren”t worried about picking up a serial killer. As the car came to a stop, reacting to the red stoplight in front of me,, I turned and said “I never worry about serial killers. “What would the odds be of two serial killers being on the same seat in the same car, at the same time? The passenger door flew open and he was gone!
Interesting question. I often dream of being hunted or perused. I airways get away but I can’t give a reason. Some of my dreams have me seeking and finding sanctuary where I Rutham whole and happy as I am embraced by a loving friend or family member.
I have Rem Sleep Disorder , an after affect of having Parkinsons for thirty years (I got Parkinsons when I was thirty, diagnosed at forty) as I kept telling myself I had stiff neck or a pinched nerve. Anyway in my sleep I’m a superhero and end up diving out of bed. I’ve broken ribs, fingers and a beauty of a black eye .
It’s sort of funny that while I’m asleep I can do things I couldn’t do while I’m awake.
So I can relate…… just pray you don’t get REM Sleep Disorder …
Beth,
That sounds like a good thing to stay away from!
I HAVE A LOT OF VIVID DREAMS, BUT I NEVER HAV3E PARKINSONS DISEASE .
Wow Allison, you had me going there. I thought at first the Grays (USA) or Greys (UK) might be after you. After all it is about time Aliens spent their money to find us instead of us always launching expensive probes. Glad it was just a dream. I never really thought about this until your daunting prose caught up with me. I have never, ever in a dream even thought of PD or in any way referenced it. I, perhaps like others in our community, physically act out my dreams on occasion. Many of my dreams are fighting bad guys and can get gory and very noisy. I was in Bishkek a while back and had one of those really savage and aggressive dreams and the hotel staff woke me up to ensure I was not seeing Kyrgyzstani snakes and spiders crawling around my room. Sometimes I do have pleasant dreams or even funny ones, all of which never involve PD. As far as showing up anywhere in public in various states of dishabille, I am Irish so I always keep all my clothes on. Appreciate you Allison. You always entertain and inform!
Wayne,
Thank you!
Sometimes I have very vivid dreams, not scary at all but lots of details and no matter what anyone says, I dream in color. Sometimes I can figure out where the weird elements of my dreams come from and sometimes I have no idea. I don’t think I have had PD in any of the dreams though.
I dream of swimming and punching people in the face. ( not at the same time). The funny thing is that I actually act these dreams out. Then I find myself jumping out of bed, as if diving into a pool and wake up with a painful thud on my actual floor, my forearms grazed and bleeding. I am slowly learning to put mattresses on the floor next to my bed, to cushion the pain. No matter what happens, the dreams always make me laugh out loud.