Sometimes I have trouble determining what is a dream and what is reality. I know I am not alone in this. I can say with confidence that we all have experienced this confusion at some point. Let’s imagine you get home after a long day of antiquing. Don’t ask me why I chose that activity, never done it before… it just sounds like it would be draining breathing in all that musty air looking for a rare object that you have been searching for years for. You decide to take a small catnap on the couch and close your eyes for what seemed like a minute, but then you open your eyes again, it’s dark outside you come through the grogginess only to find out you’ve been asleep for hours. Confusion and disbelief consume you as you try to locate your reality.
I don’t usually get that fatigued often, but when I do, it can really throw me off. It will challenge me to find the line of when dreaming stops and reality begins. I find myself asking, “did I dream this?” This happened a lot when I was going through my medical challenges that required many procedures with anesthesia. I would feel foggy and disoriented. I would call it my “surgery brain.” It’s never been the same since my 2018 medical setback.
I called my Dad about an upcoming meeting he has scheduled to discuss his participation in a research study for Parkinson’s progression markers initiative (PPMI) in San Francisco at the end of this month. He told me that he was going to go visit their main office in Indianapolis when he goes to Indiana tomorrow, while on a visit to see family. At first, I remember thinking, “that’s weird. I didn’t know he even had plans to go to Indiana.”
I guess that he could have booked a trip without me knowing months in advance. Even though I Facetime with my parents almost daily, I suppose we could have skated through it during one of our talks. That’s why I didn’t question it. My Dad was raised in Anderson, Indiana, and still has close relatives who live there. I mean, my parents even have their burial plots and their headstones already placed. Yes, complete with the date of birth and then an ominous dash followed by nothing… Yowzah.
The following morning, I woke up just like a regular day. I felt a little sleepy, but nothing out of the ordinary. I was thinking that I wanted to call my Dad to ask him a question, that’s when it hit me. Did I dream that he went to Indiana? I almost felt a little anxious like I needed to call him just to know that it was real.
Where’s Dad?
I immediately start going over the details in my head. Can’t be a dream. I know my Dad. You see, he is the type of guy who is so organized that he will create a spreadsheet or maybe even a PowerPoint presentation detailing upcoming trips that he distributes to pertaining individuals.
I have realized that this is the next step in the future of my Parkinson’s. Fortunately, it doesn’t happen often. Whether it came from outside influences, like the number of surgeries and anesthesia I have endured… It’s a fact that my body and mind have never and will never be the same after my medical setback of 2018, it actually accelerated my cognitive decline. I know that people will say, “oh, I do that all the time. Sometimes I just don’t know what I would if my head weren’t attached.” But for those who are beginning to notice a cognitive decline, it’s not normal. In fact, it can be disturbing, disconcerting, distressful and many other “dis” words I can’t think of right now.
Now, I’m asking myself, am I really writing this blog?… or was it all just a dream? *play theme song to “Twilight Zone”.
If you have noticed a void between dreams and reality, or a cognitive impairment, please let me know, I’m not losing it.
I wake up pissed at people or hurt, because of what happened in a dream all the time. They’re so real! The intensity has gotten worse now that I’m on dementia medication. I tore apart my house looking for stickers that I ordered. I really liked the way they looked. A few days later they came in the mail. I dreamed I got them and the confusion from the dementia made me believe I lost my precious stickers.
Your dad is a trip btw. 😂
John, my Dad is a hoot… and you guys share the same name! It’s nice to I’m not the only one that experiences dream brain 🧠. Haven’t heard from you in a while. Glad to hear you’re hanging in there!
Yup, just eating candy, fooling around with my bikes, and explaining to a 9 year old why Contra was way better than Fortnite back in the 80’s. Same old same old. John’s are definitely quirky humans. PowerPoint quirky. I hope you’re well. Pet the dog for me. He’ll know what you mean. 😉
Four years ago I had a few short periods of confusion. I couldn’t find where I’d parked the car and some common locations seemed unfamiliar. After a few months it just seemed to clear up on its own, KNOCK ON WOOD!
It’s 2:30 in the afternoon, I am sitting with friends talking about the latest something.
Suddenly I am waking up, and I say ” the sky is blue”.
Which is totally unrelated to the topic being discussed.
The length of time I was asleep was so short, no one noticed.
They just hear “the sky is blue”.
It usually takes me a minute or two to figure what is a dream and what is real.
Very unsettling. One reads about the progressive symptoms, but experiencing them is a whole, new ballgame. I would recommend smearing a bit of BBQ sauce on your face before napping so Nurse Crash can wake you with gentle licking. Just a thought…
Dad, that sounds like a perfect idea! Thanks for the outside the box thinking… but I think peanut butter might work better!
This disorientation happens to my husband (he has early onset Parkinson’s). He hates to take naps even though he needs them, because upon awakening he feels he has to completely reset everything. I try to write things down to help him remember or remind him. He’s slowly letting me help him in tis area, he only just recently told me that he sometimes has mild hallucinations.
Linda,
Your husband is blessed to have such a caring wife! Thanks for sharing.
Yes, I often have this as well. It can take some time to regain my bearings when I wake up especially from a nap. Thank you for sharing.
I am concerned about my Cognitive decline cuz i read it’s the beginning of Dementia. Scary
This happens to me often.. Sometimes my dreams become memories and I don’t know if they are real memories or dreams that sit in my brain for days. I’m relieved to know that I am not alone.
Yes same here. I don’t know if places I have seen and been to are actual places or something in a memory from a dream
happens to me often
Hi Allison. It happens to me when I am extremely overtired or if I miss a dose of medicines I use a wheel with my pills placed there for me. I have 2 alarms set for every 3 hours. If I am sleeping and totally exhausted I usually wake up and I feel like I am taking my meds in a dream world. I started Nuplazid about 2 years ago and that helped a lot of hallucinations and videos vivid dreams. I think that being overtired rules over all meds efficiently.
Hi Allison ,
Thank you for sharing in your ironic way symptoms that are not on the usual list…
I know this feeling … trying to find out what is real and what I was just dreaming
…Yesterday, the Arc de Triomphe in Paris was packed…. exactly on a day I was there concerning Parki …
funny coincidence of being a dreamy lucky Parki 😉
Yes. I sometimes wake up from a nap I was someplace different andhavent had ant snesthesia for years. I can’t remember what day of the week it is and have to look at the calendar on my iPad tomfind the date. It’s scary!p