Many people ask me, “How do you remain so positive with all the medical issues you have faced?” I have given this question much thought and it leads me to not an answer, but another question… “Is happiness a choice?”
Life is not full of puppy dogs, rainbows, sunshine, and unlimited amounts of frozen yogurt, although that would be awesome! Life is more like putting on a pair of True Religion Skinny Jeans that are a size too small after you just finished woofing down a whole birthday cake. Yes, à la mode… like you had to ask? Or you can look at life like a huge dressing room, where you are forced to shimmy into bathing suits with those fluorescent lights beaming down on you from above, basically highlighting all of your, pasty wobbly bits. Life is uncomfortable. To put it bluntly, it can suck! We all feel it, but the challenge is choosing to hold a smile through the pain.
As Bobby McFerrin said it best, “In every life, we have some trouble. But when you worry, you make it double. Don’t worry, be happy.” That sounds great and all, but sometimes we can feel so overwhelmed, that is hard to see the sun. Now, obviously, I am not telling people that have a chemical imbalance, Major Depressive Disorder or who are suicidal that they need to choose to be happy. That’s like a football coach, telling one of his players who broke his foot to walk it off or lance it and pack it with salt. Ummmm, No. Those people should seek medical attention, just like the player who just snapped his foot like a twig. Sorry… too soon?
My Wolfpack is full of energetic, optimistic, and positive people who encourage me to be my best every day. This helps me stay happy and hopeful that my future is going to be pretty spectacular. Not to say that I don’t get sad or even angry, but that is what my wolfpack is there for. We all need to lean on each other at some point, but it is our positive energy as a whole that keeps us strong and determined.
Don’t underestimate the power of your mind. Yes, you may not be able to will yourself out of depression, but could your negative thinking make you depressed? Absolutely! A self-fulfilling prophecy is the negative expectations or thoughts about something, which can lead to those beliefs becoming reality. If you look in the mirror every day and say, “I am ugly… No one loves me… I am useless… I am a burden”, I can pretty much guarantee that one morning you will start to believe it. Or at least your dog will say, “Pardon me, but it is literally time for a new affirmation, yours is generally displeasing.” Yes, my dog has a British accent and no, I don’t know where he got it.
I am choosing to be happy because it makes my life easier. Life is hard enough. I don’t need to wake up on the wrong side of the bed every morning. I use humor because laughing is much more adorable than crying. I believe that positive energy attracts people. But most of all I believe that attitude is the key. I teach a fitness class for people with Parkinson’s disease and I know a big part of why people keep coming back is because of my bubbly personality. They’re hoping that maybe a little bit of my positivity will rub off on them. Maybe I can make them smile or at the very least make them laugh at what a dork I am. I know for a fact that if I were to tell them, “We’re all going to die! Why even try?” I would be the only one showing up for class. Still do not believe how important having a healthy attitude is?… Read the description of my life from Perky Parkie’s happy side vs. Poopy Parkie’s unhappy side.
Poopy Parkie’s view on life:
-I was 13 years old, just starting high school when my life was ripped from my hands. Diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, I was made fun of by the cheerleading squad because I was different. I would go home in tears wondering why people were so mean. Then it was the colon cancer that left me being fed from a tube with a colostomy bag stuck to my stomach. Then as if I deserved it, I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. After enduring brain surgery to slow the progression of my degenerative neurological disorder, I had an emergency hysterectomy, which would rob me of any chance of having a baby. Now every day, I sit at home, waiting for my meds to start working, so I can struggle through a life that will surely end in a hospital bed, alone, with only the glow of the television to keep me company.
Ok… now before you jump off a cliff, see what happens when I change my attitude.
Perky Parkie’s view on life:
-I was 13 years old, just starting high school when my life took a funky turn. Diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, I was made fun of by the cheerleading squad because I was different. Even though I would go home in tears, I knew it was their own insecurities that made them treat me that way. Then with the support from my family and my determination, I survived colon cancer. It was a scary time, but I’m happy to say I made it through those challenges and I even got rid of the colostomy bag. But then I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, which sucked, but I was given the gift of seeing what is important in life… family, friends, and occasional Fro Yo. I have met so many amazing people who I would have never had the chance to meet if it weren’t for PD and although I can’t have children now, I get to be the cool Aunt who lives by Disneyland. So yes, my life has been full of disappointments, but it has made me who I am. Now, every day I find ways to give back to my community, help others, enjoy my family, and laugh when I have a Parkinson’s moment. But most importantly, plan what I am going to wear for my 20th High School reunion when this super-fox will get to laugh at the overweight, materialistic, unhappy cheerleaders that made fun of me. Karma is a bitch.
Now I ask you my readers, is happiness a choice?
Thank you for writing this great blog. I love your positivity. And I love you for being my niece!😆
Thank you, Aunt La La!
You have the most amazing attitude. LOVE reading your blog.
Thank you Connie! Happy to hear you’re enjoying my blog.
your words are so true…. being happy and positive makes life easier for everyone. That’s not to say that it is always easy to be happy/positive all the time, but the way other people respond to us ‘incurables’ is far easier to deal with than if we comment or complain about the cards we have been played. I have been diagnosed for nearly 8 years and have only just started to feel comfortable letting my husband , sons and immediate family see me struggle on those tough days. Its no fault of theirs, i must say…. its purely my own issue…..of not wanting them to worry about or pity me. And i want them to KNOW that I can and am coping day to day with my pesky sidekick Parkie.
so far good days outweigh the tough ones so i keep marching…sometimes shuffle….forward with a smile on my face…..as long as I Don’t† have to hold it for too long !!! Does anyone have any tips for uncooperative smiler muscles?!
smile whenever you can, laugh as often as possible, hug as much as you feel comfortable with!
Jackie
Hello Jackie,
Great story of the challenges you’ve faced. I’m happy to hear that you’re opening up to your family. Thank you for sharing!
What a great message for everyone. I printed it out so I can read it any time I’m feeling like life isn’t being fair. And life is not fair so we all need to go on the best we can with whatever challenges we have and realize how lucky we are just to be here. Thanks for such an uplifting message.
Thank you, Uncle Mark! Sometimes it’s good to remind ourselves that positivity can be as good as taking your medication each day!
I am currently struggling with happiness. I’m usually a positive person but life is kicking my ass right now and it’s been hard to see the light. Like you I have had some life challenges, diagnosed with Parkinson’s at 38, DBS at 39, multiple surgeries to replace broken leads, and now recently diagnosed with Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome. It’s hard not to get bogged down with it all. Your blog has reminded me to hang on. Thank you for that. ❤️
Hello Christine,
We all have to have little positivity reminders glad to hear my post helped.
Thanks for always making me laugh. You are a true encourager to this parkie.
Thank you, Karen!
Thank you for writing this. I needed that reminder that happiness is a choice!!
I hope you and Penny are getting along well.
Hi Benji,
Penny and I are still figuring each other out, but I now let her sleep on my bed at night… so she is wiggling her way into my heart!
I got trolled the other day after I posted a blog about silver linings (www.parkytracks.com/hi-ho-silver-lining/) The guy said ‘You wait – the novelty will soon wear off!’ I didn’t feed him, but I thought to myself – “when that happens, I’m ready – and in the meantime while I have the opportunity to be happy and make other people happy, that’s what I’ll do.” You make folks happy, Perky – keep up the good work.
You are a fantastic wonderful inspirational mentor. I always look forward to your blog and find its just what I need to hear. Keep it up!!!!
Finally! I have just worked out how to comment lol. This is such an encouraging blog. I think you make such a difference to peoples lives, certainly to mine. I have accidentally subscribed to this three times as I was trying to get the e book! I am a little challenged in this area sometimes. Thank you for your writing and I’m looking forward to reading the book
Hello Angela,
I’m so thrilled you figured out how to comment on my blog posts. Technology can be tricky sometimes. Hope you enjoy my book!
Thanks for reposting this Perky! I’ve always thought that having a positive attitude is the best medicine for PD and any other challenge one might face. Stay positive.
John, thank you!
I love the way You explain your thoughts! Thank you
Todd,
I’m happy to hear that you enjoyed my blog! Thank you!
Just when I was ready to jump off the cliff, you saved me. Keep up the good works and remember… exercise, exercise, EXERCISE!
Dad,
You don’t have to tell me twice…. exercise is important for all the systems in our bodies.
This is awesome. Thanks for sharing and doing your best to stay on the bright side of life’s choices, no matter what happens. Have a great day.
Thank you Dan!
Seconded!!!!!
Right On !
Thank you Allison, we agree happiness is a choice, We thank God for waking us up because it could be worse we embrace life with a good attitude and acceptance and that’s a choice,
Mary Ellen, what a great way to live life to its fullest!
16 years ago I met the most facinating woman via Match.com. That conversation (long story) changed both our lives and doubled our family size! We married that year. Six years ago she was diagnosed with PD. We have been passionate partners in PD ever since.
Happiness was our choice from the very beginning as we both had pretty tough life histories previous to 2003.
Happiness gave us the strength to move our OH home to NC then back to OH four years later.
Happiness let us remodel 6 houses, and stay sane and in love.
Sam and Mary,
What a great story, thank you for sharing!
Greate tooic Ali. Happiness (the chronic kind, not acute) occurs when the right chemicals in the right quantity, show up in the brain, in right place, at the right time. We manage this to happen when we see a loved one, or a new bambino. If we could reproduce the triggers artifcially we could be happy all the time. So, although there is a counter argument, I prefer to think we are capable of creating our own happiness.
Good point Pete!
Of course it is a daily choice to be happy and positive..to be grateful for what we have. Mind you, I think my Sifrol medication, which can encourage me to paint, crochet, compose songs or play piano for hours at a time, really helps. Anyway, I am bored with the idea of being unhappy. I will choose the glass half full, because, in doing so, I am my own best friend .
Vera, love your way of thinking.
I JUST LOVE YOU ALLISON! YOUR ATTITUDE IS WHAT DREW ME TO YOU WHEN WE MET. OH, HOW I WISH WE LIVED JUST A TAD BIT CLOSER. KNOW THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME AT OUR RIVERSIDE GROUP BECAUSE OUT HERE, WE TALK FREQUENTLY OF YOUR PERKINESS AND YOUR POSITIVE ATTITUDE. WE TALK OF YOUR STORY WHEN NEW FOLKS COME INTO THE GROUP ALL SAD AND DEPRESSED ABOUT THEIR DIAGNOSIS. “IF ALLISON CAN SURVIVE ALL THIS, YOU CAN SURELY OVERCOME THE DIAGNOSIS OF PD AND MOVE FORWARD, POSITIVELY, AND HAVE FUN GETTING TO KNOW ALL THE WONDERFUL FOLKS IN THE PARKIE WORLD.” KEEP UP THE ATTITUDE. IT MAKES YOU, YOU!!
Thank you for your kind words! So sweet!
BTW I just plugged your blog article on the Michael J. Fox Foundation’s Facebook page (as a reader comment under the article on depression and anxiety).
I also wrote about it in my own blog: http://www.parkingsuns.com/2015/05/24/perky-parkie-power/
I hope it’s OK that I said you were a mover and shaker….
That’s awesome ! Thank you!
What a great idea!
I am putting together a list of support sites & groups,including this one, to help newly diagnosed or people who left their neurologist as I did, in shock simply with a prescription in hand & whose 1st act was to get on Google & terrify myself.
Wow – You’ve been through some serious health issues. I never knew. I think you’re attitude is amazing. It’s both rational and uplifting. … Your name, the Perky Parkie, is perfect. … In answer to your final question, I’d say yes. Happiness is a choice. Thanks for pointing it out.
You’re right ! Positive is easier and better ! The way we think about things or the approach is very inportant !
Right on! I have known for some time that no matter what the circumstances, you can always decide how you will respond to them. That is a freedom that everyone has. I too have had colon cancer (stage 3), and kept an optimistic attitude throughout my surgery and 6 months of chemo. that was 15 years ago. I have had type 2 diabetes for 38 years and Parkinsons for about 13 years. Life is a lot more pleasant when you decide to make the most of it and move on.
It is definitely a blessing to be like a rubber ducky… no matter how life’s angry waves toss you, you always right yourself and pop up with that dopey duck smile. But to share that smile is a double blessing I think.
Here’s the golden nugget in the whole article: “but the challenge is choosing to hold a smile through the pain.” ‘Nuf said. Brilliant MIzzzz Perky Parkie
I have always believed you choose to be happy and positive. The great things is that we all have a choice. That is not to say that we don’t get the blues or become sad when there is a reason. Or maybe some people really do have a happy gene. I know folks who just mad, and have no true resonance for it. Loved this message!!!
Love it! It’s all in your attitude
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
Beautifully said, I believe in happiness no matter what Tricia. Thank you for your posting.
You are so right. Happiness is my choice and I believe it is the best medicine…and I’m 12 years out from diagnosis. Still like to be happy!
well said. A positive attitude (which is a choice) is it’s own reward.
I see happiness as being the result of choices we make each day, versus being a choice in itself. A positive attitude and an appreciation of life’s simple treasures, whether they be family, friends, a peaceful moment alone, the comforting sound of laughter or the voice of that special person that puts your mind at ease…..or a dose of PD meds that actually kick in on time !
Now I’m talking ultra happiness…
Happy is easier
I have complete respect for the difficult path you have chosen in this life, and even more for the acceptance you bring to it. Blessings to you. You’re a winner, kiddo.
Where and when is your support group? May I attend?
Joy is an inside Job!!!
Brilliant! Love this part:
I am choosing to be happy, because it makes my life easier. Life is hard enough. I don’t need to wake up on the wrong side of the bed every morning. I use humor, because laughing is much more adorable than crying.
Well said!